The lazy girl’s guide: Fall beauty collection roundup 2017

For all the lazy girls out there who can’t be bothered to look into every review of every big brand collection, I’m here for you: Here’s the quarterly round-up of the big brand beauty collections with the good, the bad and the ugly – namely, what to buy and what not.

Fall, the season of jewel toned eyes and deep lips. On the whole, all high-end beauty collections seem appropriately autumnal and well-made, while a few brands veered into, let’s say, interesting directions. I mean – Disco Barbie and zombies?! Oh yeah, and then there’s MAC and my massive eyeroll.

Chanel – Road Trip

I had the chance to have a look at the collection when I was in Singapore and while I think that blush/concealer/highlighter trio is three different variations is the most stupid thing ever, I actually like the whole collection. The inspiration behind it are Lucia Pica’s travels, and have a look at the inspiration pictures – breathtaking! I’m always a fan of jewel-toned makeup for fall, so this ticks all my boxes, especially the quad called Road Movie. It swatches very nicely as well, and look at the eye makeup Kristen Stewart is wearing! Stunning. The nude Rouge Allure Ink Mattes fit very nicely, and while I neither find the lipsticks nor nail polishes groundbreaking, it’s a nice cohesive fall collection. Thumbs up (the Road Movie quad isn’t limited edition, btw. Just a heads-up!) (Some swatches. And some more.)

Dior – Metallics

This is too large and sprawling all over the place to properly catch my interest. The quads seem weak (I haven’t seen or swatched a good Dior quad in ages), I’m so not interested in their lipsticks (why should I?), nor in all the little sticks, pens and thingamabobs that they always chuck into their seasonal collections. The Metalizers, though, seem interesting – a product that you can actually use on eyes and lips, in a formula that’s actually nothing new for eyes, but rather edgy on lips? Colour me intrigued. First tests from Eleni and Jane seem promising. I could be interested in those.

Lancome x Olympia Le Tan

A child’s pencil case and drawing book. Not really what Lisa Eldridge may have envisioned, but nevertheless the first thing that came into my mind when I saw the products. Not only comes my pet-peeve (cream and powder products in one palette) into play here, but I find the whole thing neither charming nor whimsical. YMMV, of course. The only thing I like? They’ll come out with new burgundy (see here), purple and red matte shakers, and I’ll be there for it. What I’m definitely not here for: A clear topcoat with heart-shaped glitters. What is this, Boots circa 2014?!

YSL – Night 54

Attack of the disco Barbie! YSL apparently thought this would be a good time as any to call for an Andy Warhol/Studio 54 tribute, and really go for the bold and glittery look. Again, a palette that mixes smoldering eyeshadows with four pans that contain lipstick colours. Whyyyyyyyy do brands do this. Why. Why don’t they go for an eyeshadow quint and some mini lipsticks, for example?! Anyways, the palette is accompanied by a powder that’s intriguingly described as a ‘shimmery violet’ and two nicely glittery metallic nail polishes. Somehow this collection seems a bit lack-lustre for all that glitter?! Or maybe I’m getting a headache from all those mixed palettes.

Guerlain – KissKiss Matte

The ancient house of Guerlain jumps onto the matte lips trend, and, however late they are, they do it well, sophisticated and maybe for a slightly older audience. Rather than concentrating on a staying power that would survive an atomic blast (maybe not the best comparison nowadays), they concentrate on comfort. I like that. I’m big on comfort. I swatched four of the 9 new KissKiss Mattes at the airport and was delighted how smooth they felt. (They should – they’re supposed to plump the lips!)

The four I tested, though, where somehow boring colour-wise, so I skipped and hope that the others might be more exciting. I’ve tried the old KissKiss formula and liked them as well. I’m not really interested in the 7 liquid lipsticks, though, nor in the ltwo ip palette. Who buys lip palettes, anyways?! It’s just too fussy for me.

Nars

While there’s nothing wrong with Nars Fall collection, whenever I see the promo pics and Bella Hadid’s dead, dead eyes staring at me while being man-handled by a rock’n’roll zombie I want to run and hide. Did the apocalypse already happen?! Star of the products are the raspberry coloured blush and the dual-intensity eyeshadows, in Fall appropriate smoldering silver and green. Also, thank you Nars for giving us a collection that includes a blush (one that is permanent as well!), because a lot of them are actually blush-less this year. (Some swatches.)

Estée Lauder x Victoria Beckham

Marketing geniuses have come up with round two of this collab, and I’m sure both EL and VB are very, very happy about it. Sure, the products are good and beautifully presented. But they’re pricier than I find reasonable for EL, veering into Tom Ford regions. It’s aesthetically pleasing, safe and there’s something for everybody. It centres around three eyeshadow duos and a quad which I find strange, because EL isn’t the brand I happily associate with great eyeshadow. The beautiful compact is some kind of setting powder, sigh. As you can see, I struggle to write anything about that collab – it’s a bit bland and boring to me, just like a beige suit. Nothing wrong with it, per se, and there’s a time and place for it, it can be beautifully tailored – it’s just not me.

Givenchy – L’autre Noir

Going the YSL route, Givenchy is trying to give itself a more edgy image and thinks an ‘all black’ collection is going to do it. Black lipliner! Black liquid blush, but hahaha, it’s pH-reactive and isn’t black at all! A black gloss, but not really, because it’s pH-reactive as well! So it’s all bells and whistles, playing pretend. Also, two-tone lipsticks. I don’t know how I feel about those – different from K-Beauty ombre lipsticks, they aren’t made to give that ‘just bitten’ lip look, but rather to mimic a darker outer edge. For me, that always looks like the 80s/90s when everybody and their table lamp wore a dark, dark lipliner with a light lip colour and looked like Dracula’s aunt (me included). The whole collection seems like a wallflower dressing up as a goth. And failing. (Some swatches.)

MAC

Oh, yeah, and then there’s MAC. MAC used to do awesome Fall collections. Fabulous Felines, Cult of Cherry, and many, many more. This year, they’re going to dazzle us with another one, right? Nope, they aren’t. For the first time since I know them there’s no Fall collection. You go, MAC, right in that direction of utter redundancy.

My top picks

Astonishingly, I like a lot from the Fall collections! My top picks would include Chanel’s Road Trip quad, Nars’ Blissful blush, one or two Guerlain KissKiss Mattes, the burgundy Lancome Matte Shaker, and one of the Dior Metalizers. What about you?